remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
