i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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