In the future we'll all be gay
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
