Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
