There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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