I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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