separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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