Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
