he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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