I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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