Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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