yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
