Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
