Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
