So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm experimenting with sincerity
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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