How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
