Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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