I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We don't watch enough power rangers
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
