I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
