none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
