im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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