Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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