ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
