that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
