we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
