There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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