So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
