You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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