420 ftw
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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