Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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