I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
