remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
