I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
