so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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