her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
