# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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