I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
