Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
