just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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