What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm like, not good at living.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
