have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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