I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
