We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
