You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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