'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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