Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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