i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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