Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
