if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
