..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
His nipple licking is glorious
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