I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
