I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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