Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
